I go in to see my psych the other week right, talking the usual shit about everything that goes on or has been going on, trying to figure out a way to get around it blah blah…
It’s like I tell her something and the response is “we need to train your mind to know that these thoughts aren’t true”… and this is when I start to think, fuck me, she’s not even gonna be able to help me!
Because you see, I know these thoughts about hectic health issues are bs, reality is, I know I’m healthy and some what fit, I’m a good weight and I’m young, I’ve had all the tests under the sun and I’m all gravy.
That little voice in the back though is like “Nar! Fuck this, whatever this is will eventually kill you, your gonna leave behind your whole family and your kids, their kids won’t even know who you are” and it just keeps escalating and escalating also along with worsening symptoms because anxiety can just manifest some queer shit.
Your then stuck in this bullshit merry-go-round that you didn’t even purchase a ticket for, I mean what is with that.
Deep down I know my thoughts are whack, deep down I know I’m really ok, and deep down I know I’ll get through it, I guess that’s what keeps my head above water.
It’s fucking frustrating though!